In my previous job, one of my colleagues (a 30 year old man) casually mentioned that he felt that women should not work. I was taken by surprise and asked him why he thought so. "Because women take up jobs that they can't commit to...have various excuses for not doing a good job, like in-laws, children, etc...and they often leave jobs the minute they get married...that job should ideally go a man who is equally qualified for the job and has a family to support." He was not clear whether he thought I deserved my job either because while he respected the fact that I am ambitious, he was not sure if my priorities would change once I got married. While most women would love an opportunity to wrap their fingers around his neck, I knew exactly what he meant and I could not completely fault him on his thinking.
At that time I could only try to explain the other side of the story where a woman, ambitious or not, often has to make the uncomfortable choice of choosing her family over job. Parents often expect their daughter-in-law to drop her work and serve them since the man's job is important. It is also a woman's responsibility to bring up the children. More often than not, a woman can neither leave her kids in day-care and nor will her husband take a paternity leave to help her. And after marriage, a woman is supposed to leave everything and re-locate to wherever her husband is. With so many factors stacked against her, how does an ambitious woman continue on her road to a successful career? My colleague seemed to understand what I was trying to say but did not seem convinced.
To be candid, even I have mixed feelings about this matter. There are women who start working because they have completed their studies but not found their matrimonial match yet. To add to the cold fact is that with a lack of day care centers in India and breaking joint-family system, women hit the glass ceiling very soon. Coming back to work after a break of even a year or two means that, quite often, she is already out of sync with the industry. As an employer, I would certainly have my reservations against employing a young, unmarried woman for an important post.
This means that unless support systems for working women comes up, lesbians and forced spinsters have much better chances of gaining approval and success in the long run.
At that time I could only try to explain the other side of the story where a woman, ambitious or not, often has to make the uncomfortable choice of choosing her family over job. Parents often expect their daughter-in-law to drop her work and serve them since the man's job is important. It is also a woman's responsibility to bring up the children. More often than not, a woman can neither leave her kids in day-care and nor will her husband take a paternity leave to help her. And after marriage, a woman is supposed to leave everything and re-locate to wherever her husband is. With so many factors stacked against her, how does an ambitious woman continue on her road to a successful career? My colleague seemed to understand what I was trying to say but did not seem convinced.
To be candid, even I have mixed feelings about this matter. There are women who start working because they have completed their studies but not found their matrimonial match yet. To add to the cold fact is that with a lack of day care centers in India and breaking joint-family system, women hit the glass ceiling very soon. Coming back to work after a break of even a year or two means that, quite often, she is already out of sync with the industry. As an employer, I would certainly have my reservations against employing a young, unmarried woman for an important post.
This means that unless support systems for working women comes up, lesbians and forced spinsters have much better chances of gaining approval and success in the long run.
