When I was little, everytime it rained, my mother would call my sister and me and say "it's raining! Go and play now!!" and my sister and I would run into the terrace or garden and jump around, sing songs and feel the rain drops on our little faces and arms.
Even to this day, rain has a strong hold on me. I could be in a serious meeting or in a situation that does not allow me to go and get wet in the downpour, but the minute the dark clouds gather, I'm already preparing to run outside. And when it rains, I am mentally running outside with my hands stretched above and my face towards the sky...twirling and twirling in the rain till I'm dizzy and extremely happy. Almost nothing else sets my heart tingling with excitement the way rain does.
22 April 2012
02 April 2012
No goodbyes, farewell and no retirement
My father retired yesterday. I always hated that word. Retired. Instead of happy feelings of saying goodbye to a life of work, one simply retires. There is party to celebrate ones lifetime of contribution and then that person drops from the radar. It's just so cruel!
My dad retired as a very senior officer in the army. Anyone would say, "just look how well he did for himself...how far he came." But the fact is, it's never enough. More so in my dad's case. Since the age if 10, he has lived away from his family in a boarding school in Sainik school, Kunjpura, Karnal. He understood early on that he had to join the army. Clearly, creativity was never in the curriculum and nor was it encouraged. He went to NDA, IMA and 37 years later, he retired. The only life he was familiar with, is no longer there.
Years ago I asked him what he would have been if not an army officer. He said, "I don't know. All I knew was that I had to join the army and I stuck to that." For me, it was shocking to think that a person who taught my sister and me to think for ourselves, make our own choices and stuck with us through our good and bad decisions never felt that he had a choice.
I am bitter. Not just because my father retired but for all people who retired when they still had much to give. It breaks me up even more to think what must be going through my father...army has been a good 48 years of his 58 years of life. How bewildering and scary it must be to be left vulnerable in the rough and unfamiliar civil life. And yet he is acting strong because my mom and sis have been crying their eyes out ever since the bomb dropped. We knew that this day would come and yet, nothing could prepare us for the coldness of it.
During big reunions, retired officers and their spouses are invited. They often include officers who retired nearly 2 decades ago. My father used to make special efforts to interact with them and taught his juniors to do the same. He often told them to keep in mind that these elderly people were once young and strong officers just like them who had dedicated their lives and given up comfort and stable family life for the service of the country.
God forbid the day that he finds himself in such reunions. And if he does, I hope he comes across an officer just like himself who would take some time out and say, "Good evening, sir. I have heard do much about you. They are very few Generals who have done what you have done." That would make his day. More importantly, it will give him faith that the army still pulls in gentlemen. He needs that faith. My father, the General, needs faith. He's a simple man, my dad.
My dad retired as a very senior officer in the army. Anyone would say, "just look how well he did for himself...how far he came." But the fact is, it's never enough. More so in my dad's case. Since the age if 10, he has lived away from his family in a boarding school in Sainik school, Kunjpura, Karnal. He understood early on that he had to join the army. Clearly, creativity was never in the curriculum and nor was it encouraged. He went to NDA, IMA and 37 years later, he retired. The only life he was familiar with, is no longer there.
Years ago I asked him what he would have been if not an army officer. He said, "I don't know. All I knew was that I had to join the army and I stuck to that." For me, it was shocking to think that a person who taught my sister and me to think for ourselves, make our own choices and stuck with us through our good and bad decisions never felt that he had a choice.
I am bitter. Not just because my father retired but for all people who retired when they still had much to give. It breaks me up even more to think what must be going through my father...army has been a good 48 years of his 58 years of life. How bewildering and scary it must be to be left vulnerable in the rough and unfamiliar civil life. And yet he is acting strong because my mom and sis have been crying their eyes out ever since the bomb dropped. We knew that this day would come and yet, nothing could prepare us for the coldness of it.
During big reunions, retired officers and their spouses are invited. They often include officers who retired nearly 2 decades ago. My father used to make special efforts to interact with them and taught his juniors to do the same. He often told them to keep in mind that these elderly people were once young and strong officers just like them who had dedicated their lives and given up comfort and stable family life for the service of the country.
God forbid the day that he finds himself in such reunions. And if he does, I hope he comes across an officer just like himself who would take some time out and say, "Good evening, sir. I have heard do much about you. They are very few Generals who have done what you have done." That would make his day. More importantly, it will give him faith that the army still pulls in gentlemen. He needs that faith. My father, the General, needs faith. He's a simple man, my dad.
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