There are many special occasions in one's life...birthdays, graduation, birth of a child and, of course, marriage. Marriage is very important, no denying that, especially for girls. More than marriage, it's the wedding that girls dream about. What to wear, how she would be the perfect bride-to-be all smiles and giggles and starry eyed about that perfect man she would marry and how for that one day the world will revolve around her. Well, I have never really been too excited about the idea of marriage. My parents, on the other hand, have looked forward to the day they would give my sister and me away to two perfect men.
For over a decade, they looked high and low for a good match for me. Nothing worked out for me and I met men after men, rejected some, got rejected by some and I remained single. Then a couple of years ago, my sister started getting marriage proposals from some really interesting men and my parents were torn apart between getting excited for my sister and the depression that my options were running low. I told them that if my sister found "the one" they should go ahead and not wait for me.
She found her Mr. Right in an arranged set just when I rejected another proposal. Then after a lot of thought (and coaxing from me), my parents went ahead with the alliance and she got engaged.
The reactions we got from friends and relatives was far beyond what we were prepared for; some expressed happiness, some were upset with my parents for not getting me married first (as if they had a choice in the matter), some snide remarks on how my sister must have had an affair and hence my parents' hurry to get her married and/or finally I'm paying the price of being overweight. What most people are not able to digest is that how I'm not only not affected by this "rejected" and "single" status I now carry but also excited and happy for her. It's the final bit that really angers me. How can I not be happy for my sister who is also my best friend?
The usual way of shutting them up, I found, is to ask them,"what's more important? For me to be married or happy? And I am happy now so what's the problem?"
So now we all sit with a pink elephant in the room. I don't bother. It's their elephant. Not mine.
For over a decade, they looked high and low for a good match for me. Nothing worked out for me and I met men after men, rejected some, got rejected by some and I remained single. Then a couple of years ago, my sister started getting marriage proposals from some really interesting men and my parents were torn apart between getting excited for my sister and the depression that my options were running low. I told them that if my sister found "the one" they should go ahead and not wait for me.
She found her Mr. Right in an arranged set just when I rejected another proposal. Then after a lot of thought (and coaxing from me), my parents went ahead with the alliance and she got engaged.
The reactions we got from friends and relatives was far beyond what we were prepared for; some expressed happiness, some were upset with my parents for not getting me married first (as if they had a choice in the matter), some snide remarks on how my sister must have had an affair and hence my parents' hurry to get her married and/or finally I'm paying the price of being overweight. What most people are not able to digest is that how I'm not only not affected by this "rejected" and "single" status I now carry but also excited and happy for her. It's the final bit that really angers me. How can I not be happy for my sister who is also my best friend?
The usual way of shutting them up, I found, is to ask them,"what's more important? For me to be married or happy? And I am happy now so what's the problem?"
So now we all sit with a pink elephant in the room. I don't bother. It's their elephant. Not mine.
