Working women and mama's boys

I used to joke earlier that instead of a husband, I need a wife just to have someone who would take care of home while I was away at work. The thought of walking home to Nigella Lawson or Kylie Kwong’s fantastic cooking has always been a somewhat of a fantasy for me. It is a sexist thought, I admit, and despite having positive male role models in my (the one’s who participate in housework to assist their wife), l can’t help but fear the “responsibilities” of a wife that the society expects. Even independent women like me do face guilt brought in by parents, television and society that no matter how much we earn, we are incomplete unless we harassed by thoughts of running a smooth house while juggling career,  clean house, screaming toddlers, fantastic cooking skills and a 30 plus year old husband who is incapable of finding his socks. Being successful continues to mean different things in a man and in a woman’s life.

I have lived away from family for 4 years and I did manage very well when it came to handling housework and bills. I was and still am quite proud at how well I adjusted to a life without servants and I enjoyed every moment of it. So staying alone is never a problem for me; it’s the entire thought of living with a man whose mother did everything for him that repulses me. For those who say, “adjustments and compromises are a part of married life,” I wholly and completely agree with you. The question is how much adjusting and compromising should a woman do?  There’s a joke that I read sometime back that makes a good point here. It goes as this: Guys, to impress an Asian woman, give her equal rights. There is no denying that most of us (I’m addressing Asian women here) would find it difficult to control our tears of joy and, dare I say, gratitude if the man of our life willingly helped us run our household. You know the one who says, “Honey, since you are cooking, let me take care of the laundry/children’s homework/washing the dishes…”

Most of us have grown up seeing our fathers come home from work and mothers rushing with tea and snacks for them. We grew up knowing that fathers are not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening since they had gone to office and had worked hard. Now that women have not just started taking up jobs but also started building careers, we don’t get fooled so easily by excuses of “went to office and hence tired.” Now the scenarios are changing in an average house.

Imagine this, husband and wife come back from work and wife gets busy with a household chore.

Wife:  Hun, could you take care of (insert any household chore)

Husband: but I just got back from work!

Wife: So did I!

Husband: *whimpers* but my mother did this and more all her life.

Wife: She didn’t have a 9 to 5 job like I do.

Husband: *whimpers*

Maybe that is one reason some men don’t like women who work. It means loss of good, warm homemade food, sorting out clothes and bills with the dhobi, being equally responsible in bringing up kids, and weekly trips to the sabzi mandi. For most of these men, the thought of helping the spouse doesn’t occur thanks to their loving mamas who did EVERYTHING for them. Does the current generation of mothers have what it takes to make life easier for the young woman who will share her life with her son?