I visited that familiar space in internet again. The one where someone I knew and loved dearly still pens down thoughts. Thoughts that I could never quite say with certainty were about me. It could have been about anybody this person had met and been intimate with without my knowledge. I don't know.
I don't know what makes me visit that space again and again...every few months, as if I will finally know which posts were about me...about "us"...and which were not. I'm not dying to know and yet a part of me wants a confirmation that I really did matter at that time so many years ago.
How many years has it been since we broke up? Four? Five? Three? That's the problem. I don't recall the date or even the year we broke up. Does that mean I'm finally "over" this person? Have I moved on? That's what it should mean, right? Not being able to recall when you both broke up? And yet, there is that space that I visit. Tugged by my heart to revisit.
What does this all mean?
I don't know what makes me visit that space again and again...every few months, as if I will finally know which posts were about me...about "us"...and which were not. I'm not dying to know and yet a part of me wants a confirmation that I really did matter at that time so many years ago.
How many years has it been since we broke up? Four? Five? Three? That's the problem. I don't recall the date or even the year we broke up. Does that mean I'm finally "over" this person? Have I moved on? That's what it should mean, right? Not being able to recall when you both broke up? And yet, there is that space that I visit. Tugged by my heart to revisit.
What does this all mean?
No comments:
Post a Comment